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Sorry blondes out there.x?
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.

Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ***?
A. Brain tumor.

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A. Because they both drip when they're ******!

Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"

Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL

Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
hmmm..not very funny...my girlfriend is blonde.....
Facing a dilemma and kind of long(mature and open minded people answer only)?
i been married 5 years. My marriage was arranged and its not the fact that it was arranged that i am having problems as u can see in this marriage and divorce forum, problems also arise in people who know each other for five + years before getting married.i brought him here from another country so while i was getting a husband he was getting into US. He was extremely nice back in his country but yes i know he needed to be nice but i kept an open mind that not everybody is the same. some people are genuine. i started having a funny feeling two three months after he got to US(loss of interest, less talking on the phone when he was in another city for job, overall nasty attitude). i could feel that where he was from he never ever seen a girls legs bare but now he can see bikinis, boobs that are all out for u to see . but even though it was ok with me if u look but he was pushing me away and made me feel like i was not pretty enough for him now since he seen so many hot blonde chicks in america. i felt shitty, sad depressed. he would find any little excuse to n0t talk to me for week.I got pregnant, sex life was like this i felt he watched porn and then ****** me without any feelings while pregnant but i never seen him watch it. so for five months of my pregnancy he treated me like crap and looked at me with face like ewe she is my wife.( i am hurt to this day from that). well one day he forgot to delete history and i see all these sexy this and sexy that searches. i asked him so this is the reason u didnt like me all of sudden. i was hurt and wanted to just get out but he cried and begged and said i am sorry i didn;t know what i had. i will never treat u like that again. so i gave birth to my son and tried to forget but couldnt believe he hurt me so much. i mean i guess that wasn't enough for him he became a citizen and well same feeling started coming back. i started school and behind my back he was downloading porn every single day and i was fighting with him about not having sex with me( prolly once a month). i knew he was watching porn because i had spyware but never told him i knew. i was sad that he would rather masturbate and watch blonde chicks get ****** then love me. so this happend for two years and when i told him i knew what he was doing and i am hurt not that he watched porn but i wasnt good enuf for him to have sex. and if he wants to ever watch porn he will tell me we will watch it together at first he said ok but after watching it 3 or 4 times with me he probably doesn't like it and now when i ask him so wat happened he says o I don't want to watch porn. i want to change for us. i know he is bullshitting me cuz he is so used to watching porn by himself he doesn't like me with him. its pisses me off.i mean feeding me bullshit about changing when he couldn't live without fuking naked girls but could live without having sex with me for a month. its sick. i am currently 5 months pregnant after we made a deal and he is pulling same **** again i am extremely hurt and cant get over the fact that he chose other people to watch over me. i must be ugly or something. sometimes i dont want to talk to him and he ******* tries to mentally manipulate me by sleeping on the floor when i tell him leave me alone. so i have to go up to him and ask him to come on bed and be nice. he is playing games or he would not eat dinner since i am not properly talking to him. i am really sick of this. when he compliments me it means nothing to me. when i asked him what kind of women he likes after kinda making him feel i am ok with it he told me i like white girls with big boobs. i know that, i am olive complexion and he wasnt turned on by me. i mean i have guys hitting on me all the time even when pregnant but it doesnt mean nothing when somebody i loved doesnt even find me good enough to have sex with me. i am sad and embarrassed. i know he wants me as a wife so he has a family and that's it. he cant change the fact that i am not his type. but now he is not my type either. i want somebody whose honest who loves my body, me and everything i can bring to the relationship instead of just having a complete family. what do u think i should do or try to do. i put up a face of niceness so he wont sleep on floor or say i dont want to eat dinner. i am sick of being nice to bitches but cant help it. HELP plz.
thanks
Porn is a real addiction. The high a person gets is kind of like a drug.
There is nothing wrong with you. It's the fantasy world he is living that is messing him up.

I'd like to suggest you see if you can find a Celebrate Recovery group in your area. CR deals with all kinds of problems from chemical addictions to porn to overeating and bulimia. You need to go also to find some healing from all the crap he's put you through and to find some support from others who live with someone who has an addiction.
How can i make my blonde highlights a solid blonde color?
i got highlights done at a salon to make my hair lighter from a dark brown dyed color that faded to light brown and i dont like the stripey look. i just want a solid light blonde color but my hair in the back and underneath is darker then the top. the salon ****** it up. i want to use a box dye to fix it but im scared it wont turn out! help me pleasee!
You can go to the salon
What can I do to make my hair grow?
Okay, so my hair is pretty ****** up. I naturally have dark brown hair and I had to bleach it a couple of times to go blonde. So, you can say my hair is pretty burned. Honestly, I don't need comments about this. It's not what I'm asking. Since my hair is pretty damaged, especially my roots, my hair doesn't seem to get longer. I mean, obviously I see my roots grow, so it's growing but the length doesn't change. Why is this happening and what can I do to make my hair grow again?
so try this...regular trims are a must, about every 7-9 weeks.(if your hair is really healthy then up the trims to about every 12 weeks, a trim is just a snip off the ends) if its been awhile since you have had a trim then inches may be called for to get to healthy hair. i use vitamin e on fresh washed hair.(its a vitamin that can be purchased where you buy vitamins, cut open capsule, squeeze into hand, rub hands together and apply to hair) dont message into scalp. if you get too much then just rewash it. hair will feel slightly sticky until dry then it will be nice and soft. it tames the frizzies, deep conditions and makes hair grow about three in a month. it takes about a month for the growth part of the e to kick in. the other benefits are instant. dont brush your hair but maybe once a week to message the scalp, i use a wide tooth comb at other times. brushing breaks off hair. i just started biotin vitamins going on four months ago this sat and notice and big growth spurt from that. biotin is cheap and also promotes hair regrowth and growth. i also have the biotin shampoo that i got from a vitamin store online.(puritans pride.com or vitadigest.com) five bucks for a big bottle and a big bottle of E is about 8 bucks. the biotin is about 3 bucks. i now take my fingers and message my scalp about five times a week, along with the brushing thats a good way to do it without damaging your hair. apply two or three capsules of e to dry hair and message into scalp and hair really well, put damp towel in microwave for 1 min to get hot, then quickly wrap head, a dry towel can be placed over that to help hold in the heat, leave on for 15 min, shampoo well, makes an excellent hot oil treatment. good luck, AND some people will argue about regular trims, your hair does grow from the roots, yes, but if your hair is not trimmed at the bottom, the it splits, get dry and brittle not to mention thin looking from no trims at all and frizzy. then your hair starts to break off at the bottom and giving you the appearance that it never grows. so to make hair grow as fast as possible and keep it healthy, then trims are an essential part of hair care. look on a ruler and check out less then half an inch and if your salon does not know what that is then take a ruler with you, i have. as of three weeks ago adding beta carotene vitamins to my regimen. i found out that along with the biotin it is very very good in promoting hair growth. they were five bucks for a bottle of 100. got them at walmart. the biotin and e can also be purchased at walmart, and adding all this up is pretty cheap to get great hair. i just wish the shampoo was available in the stores, but not yet.
****** up my hair.... any one know any AMAZING updo's?
I dyed my hair back to its original colour (a dirty blonde) and i hate it god im ugly now GRRRRRRRR but my friend suggested a nice updo but i hate messy ones!!! any one know how to do or got any pics of really nice tidy pretty updo's??????? Thanking you muchly!!! (something marilyn monroe esk would be nice maybe) xxxxxx
Look at my profile, that's done this week, in less than 4mins. My hair is down to my knees. It can go for medium length also, any texture hair. I can create 7 in a week. Get inspired from PROM or hairstyle magazines, fashion magazines, TV award shows like Dancing with the Stars, create one of your own. Use butterfly clips or claw clips. On my hair you can see only two clips, the rest is my secret. Another is braided with yellow and black beads lariat necklace. Make it elegant (like mine), funky, messy, or wild. So many options. When people get bored with their hair, they dye it, straighten it, then they damage their hair, instead of experimenting with styles.

Another one is make a braided headband, using hair pins to secure them around your head. I did that for the Betsy Ross style, for the 4th of July, took 10 mins.

I know you can do it! I've posted 8 different photos of my hair in 3 months.
YW

Source(s):
I know hair. I have over 4 decades of hair know-how. I have silky, shiny, soft, smooth very healthy hair down to my knees. Previously damaged by perming & dyeing in the 80's & 90's. I've known people in their 30's whose hair stopped growing from ironing their hair in the 70's.
Would you get mad If i mixed up your eye color?
She's Obsessed with Angelina Jolie. I show her the new Trailer of the Movie "Salt" and Angelina is Blonde and has green eyes..... So does the girl, I thought she had brown eyes and green contacts.
As we were giving our goodnights my Dumb *** says: Wear the green contacts tomorrow... She says
What!
My Eyes are REAL!
(Signs off)



I just want to know, Am i ****** or not? She hasn't answered her phone all day, or responded to texts, We did Have Midterms today though.
Or am i just over reacting.

Thanks!
Lol i think you're overreacting. If she doesn't like you anymore because you made a mistake about her eye colour, then she didn't like you very much in the first place. When you do talk again, you could always redeem yourself by saying that her eyes are so beautiful that's why you thought she must be wearing contacts...
Good luck
I ****** up my hair, i went from brown to to orange and yellow hair. HELP!?
i had brown hair and red and blonde highlights, i tried dying my hair at home with Born Blonde dye from wal-mart. It came out orange, yellow and pink! then i went to try to get it fixed at a salon and some lady made it worst by only doing highlights, when i asked her to bleach my whole hair. My hair feels like a string of cheese when i shower (i hope someone knows what i mean) and if i comb my hair it breaks.
>>> if someone knows what can i use to better my hair please let me know.
>>>i'm trying to go platinum blonde, and i would like to know what do i have to do daily to keep it looking good. What products to use.

,... the only thing that does look platinum blonde is my highlights and the rest look the same, yellow and orange.

thanxs for reading this ;-)
ugh, i went through this and its so aweful. Red is the hardest colour to get out. I had to keep on dying it and dying it, you guys have that packet bleach blonde chemical stuff there? i think nice n easy sells it. keep on leaving conditioner that it comes with in your hair overnight with a plastuc bag over it, to get that deep conditioning. it took me SIX times before it looked right.. all solid and not brassy, then i finally finished with a beige blonde dont use anything with "ash" in it or youll get pretty greens too ;) good luck!
Kinda ****** up question?
ok so you know the whole ginger joke thing? well i'm a ginger (kinda, i have orange hair and thats it)
and i thought it was funny too. it first came out when i was in 7th/8th grade, and i went along with it when everyone was like gingers have no souls cuz i honestly thought it was kinda funny.

but today, i'm in 10th grade. and i got punched in the face and and phone got damaged by two guys because i was ginger.

i'm not allowed to transfer schools, and even then it's just going to happen everywhere. my parents are suggesting i just dye my hair because i don't want to get even more trouble with my peers by talking to the principal about all of this.

anyways, as for dyeing, i was thinking either a light brown or blonde. (naturla instincts)
is there a product that removes the residue of leftover hair color, so when high school hell is over i can be myself again?
thanks
To hell with the principal. Go to the police. You were assaulted and your phone was damaged. Those are crimes. The school should know, too. These guys need to be suspended for awhile. They hit a girl. Bad news. For nothing. Really bad news.

If your peers are not going to stand up with you against this stuff, they aren't worth your regard. Stand up for yourself.

And WTF? It's going to happen everywhere because you are a ginger? Are you guyding me? Red hair is lovely. Be proud to have it. Other women pay big bucks to try to get red hair -- but it does not come in boxes. No hairdresser can do that job. Only God can. You are so lucky.
Q&A Blonde Jokes part 2?
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes a*s?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A. Because they both drip when they're ******!
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
nice
thanx

have a star
and njoy the christmas!!!
I don't know whether to stay with him or not!?Long Story!!?
Hi guys i'm hoping you could help me out....

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years... we've been through so much together,
We were going to have a baby together last year and then a tragic incident happened and his father died so he told me to have an abortion because it wasn't the right time and he wasn't thinking straight.

Then I found out he had a gambling addiction and it made him angry at times where he'd hurt me..
& then one night we both got drunk and he went too far so I called the police..
which i regret :'( because I don't want him to go to prison (court in January)

But the worst thing is I don't blame him for all these things, I blame me. I don't know why. I just do. I love him so much & the times we had in between the rough patches were so amazing.

Because we argued so much at one point we had a little break... we always said to each other no matter what, we'd never be with anyone else because we're going to spend the rest of our lives together.

Then I found out he went on a date with this girl from his work and apparently it wasn't just them two, it was her friend as well. This lead me to depression. He loves blonde girls and my friend ****** my hair up and dyed it dark... he said he didn't like it... and then when we go on a little break he goes on a date with this gorgeous Lithuanian blonde girl. I'm thinking about it now and it's actually making me so upset. Why would he do this?

Still to this day he says it was just a 'friend' thing and he doesn't like her anymore. Then one night I was having a drink with a few friends, about 12am on a Thursday night I get a phone call from him... He said (in a drunk voice) "someone wants to speak to you" and some foreign girl comes to the phone saying hello... so I just hung up.

I asked him about it and it was a girl he'd known from traveling years ago called Andrea.. and she stayed in OUR bed whilst he stayed on the sofa APPARENTLY for three nights! Because she needed somewhere to stay and he had no choice but to let her stay there. I asked what did they do.. apparently he showed her all around London one day & got pissed with her another (when he called) the rest of the days he was working. Apparently they only shared a kiss because he was drunk.

And apparently she wanted to have sex with him and he said no. From my experience of men, I find that hard to believe, sorry guys I just think there's only a few decent guys out there.

What do I believe??

Because I need to know whether to give my heart to him this Christmas...

[THANKS FOR READING]
im a guy and first of all from what you wrote , you seem a really nice , caring person..but would seriously advise you to leave that bloke .i know you both WERE in love and i think that now it is more a one sided thing , because from what he is doing , it seem really that he doesnt care for you the same way you care for him. it may hurt to read this , but this is the truth and i think that you should look for someone who genuinely love you for what you are .
i think that he may have well not slept with that girl who slept in your bed , but hell , he hid a lot of stuff from you , right?
i think that you should leave him and take a bit care of yourself , till one day you meet someone who really cares.
hope that helps

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